So lately I have been thinking about my "future" and what's going to happen once I graduate. What is going to happen? Am I going to just all the sudden be considered an adult and left out to dry. What will happen. Of course I will be going to college but on my own? What will I do without my mom?! I have had so much on my mind. Just being alone with no one there and my friends that I'm leaving. Lately this song Stuttering by Fefe Dobson has been kinda my song I guess. This transition in my life will show me who is really a friend and a person I can keep in my life. I'm just worried that the people I love the most will be the ones to let me down first. what a sad thought. I just shudder at the fact that I am leaving my best friend of 4 years Kelly here and it will be a piece of my heart gone. She has been there for me through so much I just don't know how it will be when I leave my non-related sister. And then I leave my bestest friend, the one who has been there for me lately the one who I can laugh with and just be silly my amazing friend Victoria McElveen. I think I will miss her a ton. I will miss just hanging whenever we want and talking about whatever and just being there for each other. She is like the sister in Christ that I have needed in my life for so long and is such a blessing to me. Leaving my boyfriend will be the hardest task of all. He is the one person who knows me inside and out, loves me for me and would be here in a heart beat if I needed him. Wesley is one of the most amazing person ever. He is so loving and it will be so hard to say goodbye. He has been there for me through a lot. He has seen me in some tough times and has helped me through them all. I'm glad I have a cellphone and computer because I will by skyping all these people and calling them daily :) haha I love my friends and family with all of my being and I know that God will strengthen me in everything I do.
John 3:30 says "He must increase and we must decrease" this verse has been the rock I have leaned on lately. God must increase and I must decrease, I must set all the petty things aside and fall to my knees and pray. These past few weeks I have just been hit with so much on my heart and all that I can do is cry and fall to my knees and pray. I feel that everything that I have on my heart can be fixed in a matter of seconds in the hands of God but being the stubborn person I am...I want to try and fix it first. This is such a wrong strategy. I really need to work on my heart. Last Wednesday at church Kevin was talking about the 10 plagues and how they could have all been stopped in the blink of an eye. But Pharaohs heart had been hardened to the point of hate. I feel that my heart started to get hardened and I need to let God take control and just give it all to him.
Well thanks for listening or reading I might say..prayers are welcome. :)
In Christ
Kelli
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